


The Curious Case of Kurt Hummel

by kuhlaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, hogwarts!Klaine, hufflepuff!Blaine, wizard!klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/pseuds/kuhlaine
Summary: In which Blaine Anderson, a sixth year Hufflepuff, dedicates himself to deciphering what house his crush, Kurt Hummel, belongs to.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 34
Kudos: 112





	The Curious Case of Kurt Hummel

**Author's Note:**

> howdy! here's a fun, lil fluffy one shot based on the twitter discourse over what house Kurt would be in! enormous shout out to alex/acciocreativity for fleshing this out with me! this one's for you ❤️

Blaine notices Kurt before everyone else begins to notice him. It feels impossible that he’s not at the center of everyone else’s orbit. The fact that he’s mostly flown under the radar for most of his time at Hogwarts is an egregious error on every other students’ part – in Blaine’s opinion, at least.

When Kurt finally does garner attention for himself, it’s not the kind that’s at all welcome. He’s the subject of many tall tales and vicious gossip when the news that he’d hexed David Karofsky spread through the school like wildfire. Accidental hexings aren’t uncommon – just last month, Finn Hudson had sported a tail for two weeks after a ‘disagreement’ with Santana Lopez. But the details in Kurt’s case are scarce. No one even knows what the hex was – all they know is that Karofsky had spent two days in the infirmary before being sent home for the remainder of the term. Kurt is given a month of detention, and Professor Sylvester warns that if she hears anyone discussing the incident she’ll dock them fifty points, no questions asked.

“Maybe it was a Knee Reversal spell!” Sam suggested the night that the news had finally trickled down to the Hufflepuff common room. “My cousin got hit by one of those last year – nasty recovery process.”

“I heard it was a Bat Bogey Hex, but Karofsky was so full of bogey’s the bats wouldn’t stop coming,” Brittany added with a giggle.

“Professor Sylvester said we’re not supposed to discuss it,” Blaine protested, crossing his arms firmly.

“Well it’s not like she can hear us – she’s probably back down in the dungeons by now.”

Blaine doesn’t continue arguing, grabbing his books and parchment and huffing off towards his bedroom, leaving Brittany and Sam behind in a confused daze.

* * *

Blaine doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the day he first met Kurt Hummel. It hadn’t been an exciting day – rather boring, even. A rainy Tuesday afternoon

Blaine’s decision to join the frog choir midway through the school term wasn’t one he had taken lightly. It was something he’d been considering since his fourth year – but he’d made the mistake of mentioning the idea to his father in passing over the summer. He’d shouted himself hoarse, going on and on about the importance of Blaine’s studies at this point in his school career. He would be taking his OWLs next year – singing and dancing with a bunch of overgrown frogs would be a waste of his time, especially with his father’s hard-earned salary paying for his unopened books. But, after spending almost the entirety of his fifth year trapped in the library, Blaine decided that it was high time he did something for himself for a change.

His father had been upset about it, naturally – sending Blaine a Howler just two days after he’d shared the news in the latest letter he’d written to his mother, berating him for focusing on trivial matters when he should be focusing on his studies. Thankfully no one batted an eye at the Howler – it was the third one that morning, and life went on.

Blaine pushed his father’s anger and disappointment aside – something he was already quite used to at this point – and headed to the Great Hall for his first rehearsal with an extra bit of pep in his step.

And there he was, at the center of the pack: Kurt Hummel, the most gorgeous creature Blaine had ever laid his eyes on.

Blaine, still woefully inexperienced when it came to romance and relationships, wasn’t at all subtle that afternoon. He’d spent more time gazing at Kurt than looking at his sheet music, nearly tripping over his words and embarrassing himself at his first official rehearsal. Thankfully, Professor Schuester seems amused by Blaine’s obvious crush, and lets him off the hook with a pat on the shoulder as they pack up their things.

“Great job today, Blaine,” he praised, before adding, “Just keep your eyes on the notes next time,” he added with a wink.

Blaine was, naturally, mortified, and never takes his eyes off of his sheet music during rehearsal again. But that doesn’t stop him from sneaking glances at Kurt at every other possible moment. He can’t believe he’s never noticed Kurt before – he’s impossibly magnetic, pulling focus from the moment he enters a room. If given the opportunity, Blaine would gladly spend hours looking at Kurt, trying to memorize every slope and curve and dip in the hopes that someday he can create something as beautiful as Kurt.

It’s a testament to Kurt’s beauty that Blaine is as head over heels as he is. All he knows is Kurt’s name, his face, and that his voice is so honey smooth and sweet Blaine isn’t entirely convinced he’s not part Siren – and he is absolutely smitten.

Most notably, Blaine doesn’t even know what house Kurt’s in – but it’s not for a lack of trying. In fact, Blaine spends more time than he should trying to figure out what house Kurt belongs to. It shouldn’t be difficult to figure out – but Kurt is an enigma in more ways than one.

The first thing that throws Blaine for a loop is Kurt’s clothing. He embellishes his standard issue robes with a rotating selection of brooches and pins. Blaine even musters up the courage to compliment him on a particularly intriguing lipomatous shaped broach. But the accessorizing doesn’t stop with the pins and brooches.

Blaine’s confident that Kurt must have the most expansive wardrobe at Hogwarts, if the number of different ascots and scarves and vests and sweaters he owns are any indication. It’s not that he doesn’t like Kurt’s wardrobe – he loves it, admires it even. It’s a refreshing break from the endless sea of black and grey. It’s just that Kurt’s passion for color coordination and variety is making his task all that much harder.

* * *

Blaine starts taking notes.

Kurt typically sits with the Slytherins for breakfast, Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez specifically. He doesn’t chat much with the others at the table – though he does have what looks like a very unpleasant interaction with Sebastian Smythe on their way out of the dining hall one morning. Kurt is certainly tenacious when it comes to his ambition – he and Rachel argue every other week in choir about the distribution of solos. Blaine may be a bit biased, but he agrees that Rachel _definitely_ gets far too many solos. After Kurt gives Mr. Schuester the verbal lashing of the century for denying his request to sing a song originally written for a female performer for the choir’s winter showcase, Blaine is convinced. Definitely a Slytherin.

But, Blaine realizes, Kurt doesn’t spend all of his time with the Slytherins. Blaine had been under the impression that Kurt skipped dinner, noticing that his usual spot between Santana and Rachel was usually empty. It takes two weeks for him to realize that Kurt had been attending dinners as normal all along, just on the opposite side of the room.

It turns out Kurt spends dinner with the Gryffindors. It should’ve been obvious, in retrospect. Kurt has always been much closer to Mercedes Jones than he is with Rachel or Santana. He’s still not sure if the rumor that Kurt and Finn Hudson are siblings is true or not – he highly doubts it. Blaine doesn’t share much of a resemblance with his own older brother, but even he and Cooper have more in common than Finn and Kurt. While Slytherin may have been Blaine’s first instinct, he admits that Gryffindor fits just as well. Blaine has been admiring Kurt’s bold choices and confidence in himself for months now – but now the whole school knows that Kurt isn’t afraid to stand up for himself.

Blaine consults his notes one last time before concluding that yes, Kurt must be a Gryffindor, realizing several minutes later that he should burn said notes before anyone can find out how infatuated he really is.

* * *

“So, are you actually going to ask this guy out, or are you just going to stare for the rest of eternity?” Mike asks, nudging Blaine in the ribs.

“Hush,” Blaine snaps back, turning his attention back to his butterbeer.

“I don’t blame you,” Brittany muses, gazing over Blaine’s shoulder at where Kurt is chatting animatedly with Mercedes. “He’s very pretty.”

“He is,” Sam muses before turning his attention back to Blaine. “You do realize you can actually talk to him, right?”

“Shut up!” Blaine hisses, peeking over his shoulder to ensure that neither Kurt nor Mercedes have noticed that their entire table is gazing at them. “He hardly knows that I exist,” he protests with a pout, taking a sympathy swig of his butterbeer.

“Well what better way to get to know someone than by going for a romantic moonlight stroll along the lake?” Mike says dreamily before letting out an obnoxious series of kissing sounds.

If Blaine weren’t raised to be so well-mannered he’d transfigure Mike’s head into a toilet. He settles for a punch to the arm instead.

“What’s the harm in asking? If he says no you won’t even have to see him next year,” Sam says before shoving half of a pumpkin pastie into his mouth.

“Why wouldn’t I see him next year?” Blaine asks with a raised brow.

“He’s a seventh year,” Mike replies. “We have Potions together.”

Blaine swallows hard. He had no idea that Kurt was a seventh year – though it should’ve been obvious in retrospect, given the company he keeps.

“See, I didn’t even know he was a seventh year!” he says more loudly than he knows he should. “I don’t even know what house he’s in,” he mumbles, picking at a chipped bit of paint as his shoulders sag in defeat.

There’s a collective moment of silence, brows knitting together and lips pursing in thought before Brittany finally says what they’re all thinking. “I don’t think I know what his house is either.”

“Me neither,” Sam adds.

“I assumed he was in Ravenclaw, but I guess he could be a Slytherin… I think there’s a Gryffindor or two in our Potions class too.”

Blaine groans, letting his head fall against the table with a thunk. Knowing that his friends are just as confused as he is when it comes to Kurt’s house is encouraging, but he can’t help but feel more hopeless than ever.

* * *

Kurt, it seems, is friends with every seventh year at Hogwarts. Blaine keeps his eyes peeled for any sign of Kurt at the first Quidditch game of the spring season. He spies him crossing the castle grounds alone, not sporting any type of celebratory regalia. While his teal ascot brings out the color of his eyes beautifully it’s the least helpful color he could possibly wear. Well, except black. But he’s yet to see Kurt wear an entirely black ensemble.

Kurt spends most of the game with Quinn Fabray and Tina Cohen-Chang in the Ravenclaw stands. They spend more time giggling over whispered comments than they do cheering for Ravenclaw’s star seeker. Three hours later Ravenclaw walks away with the first win of the season, and Blaine is more confused about Kurt Hummel than ever.

* * *

Blaine is resigned to the idea of admiring Kurt from afar until he leaves Hogwarts behind at the end of the term when things take an unexpected turn.

“Hello, Blaine,” Rachel Berry greets the moment he walks into the Great Hall for choir rehearsal.

“Oh, hello,” he replies warily – Rachel hasn’t said more than two words to him since he joined. Not that he’s complaining – he finds her a bit… much.

She loops her arm through his and guides him off to the side of the room, away from where everyone has begun to practice their vocal warm ups. “You’ve been a part of the choir for a few months now and it feels like we hardly know each other at all,” she muses.

“You’ve never spoken to me before,” Blaine protests.

Rachel hums, pressing her lips into a hard, thin line. “Well, I think it’s time we change that,” she proposes, releasing Blaine’s arm and clapping her hands together excitedly. “Why don’t you join Kurt and I for breakfast tomorrow, we—”

“Rachel!” Kurt crosses the room at record speed, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her roughly away from Blaine. “What’re you doing?” he hisses at her, giving Blaine an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry – she’s been acting off all morning. Potions incident,” he explains before dragging her away as quickly as he can.

Blaine watches them go, struck dumb as his heart races just from a two second conversation with Kurt.

* * *

Once he’s able to recollect himself, Blaine agonizes over his strange conversation with Rachel. He recounts the story with excruciating detail to Sam and Brittany, who are just as perplexed as to what Rachel’s plan was as he is.

“Maybe she fancies you,” Brittany suggests with a smirk.

Blaine rolls his eyes. He doesn’t think there’s a single person at Hogwarts who isn’t well aware of Rachel and Finn Hudson’s on-again-off-again love affair. He doesn’t take up Rachel’s offer to join her and Kurt for breakfast the following morning – assuming that Kurt’s intervention promptly cancelled that offer out. He glances over at where Rachel and Santana are bickering across the table, Kurt ignoring them as he stares numbly across the room. Blaine tells himself that he imagines Kurt peeking over at him, giving him a shy smile and wave. No, he’s just letting his daydreams get a little out of hand again, he tells himself as he turns back to his porridge. He really needs to lay off the fizzing whizbees before bed.

* * *

Blaine slowly begins to realize that he may not be imagining things when Kurt makes a regular habit of smiling at him from across the room. He’s sure it’s real because Sam has started teasing him relentlessly about it.

“Pick your head up or you’ll miss your daily smile from your boyfriend,” Sam says, patting Blaine roughly on the back.

He looks up from his half eaten pumpkin pasty all too eagerly, swallowing hard as he watches Kurt float gracefully into the Three Broomsticks, heading to his usual table where Mercedes is already waiting for him.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Blaine mutters bitterly, groaning when he realizes Sam has used this as an opportunity to swipe a bite of his pasty. “Will you ever learn to buy your own food?”

“Not when you’re so easy to swipe from,” he replies cheekily, nodding his head towards Kurt and Mercedes. “Why don’t you go talk to him? It’s just him and Mercedes today.”

Blaine shrugs. Kurt certainly seems more approachable when he’s with Mercedes as opposed to Santana and Rachel. But it still feels daunting – what would he even say? Hello, we occasionally smile at one another from across a room and have exchanged maybe five sentences, may we sit together?

“Not today,” is Blaine’s excuse, giving in with a sigh as he tosses his fork onto his plate and heads back to the bar to buy himself another drink, missing the mischievous smirk Sam sends Mercedes.

Blaine pouts when he returns to his newly empty table, refilled butterbeer in hand. It’s not the first time Sam has abandoned him on a trip to Hogsmeade, but he’ll usually at least give him a warning before he disappears to get up to know who knows what. It’s not until he spots Mercedes rushing out of the tavern, ignoring Kurt’s protests and pleads, that he realizes something may be going on.

Kurt scowls as the door closes behind Mercedes, slumping back into his seat with a groan. Blaine flushes, turning his attention to the outdated copy of the Daily Prophet across from him, trying to find anything to occupy his attention. He lets out a shriek when he hazards a peek at Kurt, only to realize that he’s now seated across from him.

“Hi,” Kurt says, biting back a smile as he mouths a ‘he’s alright’ to the bartender.

“Um, hi, hello,” Blaine stammers out, clasping his trembling hands in his lap. “Sorry, I just… thought I was alone.”

“Do you want to be alone?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“No!” Blaine answers too quickly and too enthusiastically. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind some company. If you don’t mind, of course.” Blaine wills himself to shut his mouth before he makes even more of a blithering idiot out of himself than he already has.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Kurt says with a shy smile. “Plus, I think if we head back to the castle and one of us hasn’t asked the other out our friends are going to murder us.”

“W-what?” Blaine sputters, nearly choking on his own spit.

Kurt blushes. “I really hope I haven’t just made an idiot out of myself.”

“No!” Blaine answers as quickly as he can because holy hell, _the_ Kurt Hummel might actually… like him? “You, uh… you’re definitely not wrong. I just… I didn’t think you even knew I existed.”

Kurt laughs – which just might be the most wonderful sound Blaine has ever heard – before replying. “I definitely know you exist,” he says, biting his lip before looking over at the door. “Wanna get out of here?”

Blaine pinches himself under the table, just to ensure that he isn’t still dreaming. “Yeah. Yeah,” he answers breathlessly, rocketing out of his seat to open the door for Kurt.

“Such a gentleman,” he praises with a coy smile.

Blaine takes a moment to collect himself, inhaling deeply and anchoring himself before he can float away. He’s still not convinced that this isn’t a dream – but if it is, he’s at least going to make the most of it.

Blaine is so caught up in soaking up every possible second of this most glorious afternoon that it's not until Kurt bids him goodnight with a sweet, parting kiss on the cheek, that he realizes he never asked Kurt what house he’s in.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm hopefully planning on doing some more entries into this 'verse, but of course that would mean I'd actually have to say what house Kurt is in! Feel free to let me know what house you think Kurt would be in! Personally, I'm team Slytherin!Kurt, but I'm willing to be swayed!
> 
> thank you so much for reading! :)


End file.
